Cassi (andsoshewrites) wrote in janeasher,

Hello everyone, Andsoshewrites here! And as you may or may not know, I started a Beatles slash RPG, called thebeatleworld

And wow. I never realized the writers I'd get. Honestly, everyone is such an amazing writer, and I am so lucky to have the chance to write with them and to have them as a part of my RPG.

But I know there's been some complaint about everything that's been being posted lately in Beatle comms, and I just thought that I'd tell everyone about thebeatleworld. So far we have a Paul (me), John, George, Ringo, Brian, Cynthia, Pattie, Bob Dylan, and even a Derek Taylor.

And I personally think the storyline is great. Everything works out quite well. Here are a list of some of the relationships that have been played in the RP:

Cynthia/Bob Dylan

And of coarse, John/Cynthia and George/Pattie.

We post quite often, and all the NC-17 threads are friends-locked, but you can join just to watch :D/

But, if you want to play, you can. We're currently looking for a Jane Asher and a Maureen Cox. But if you want to be someone else, you may. Just send me an email at and read the profile of thebeatleworld

Now, here are the current players:

nemperor as mrepstein
alicia_h as cyn_lennon64
maccas4evrlver as johnwlennon
blut_kruez as george_harri_22 and bob_dylan_1954
hirelk as richiestarr
749_penny_lane as derek_taylor
warning7280 as pattieboyd64
andsoshewrites as jamespmacca

And honestly, each and every one of them to a fantastic job! (Maybe not me, so much as them)

I'll put some snippets of the RP under a cut, so you all can see if you like it :]

When John cheated on Paul with Brian:

I stopped before turning the doorknob. I half turned to Paul, looking in his direction but not at him.

"I let him suck me off, ya know. I had every intention of fucking him... and I would have, too, but..." I sighed angrily.

Why was I hellbent on just... fucking EVERYTHING up?

"Still love me now?" I rushed with a scoff, my voice hard and rough, but my eyes burning with unshed tears.

All I could hear was the blood pounding in my ears. Was my heart even beating to push it there? Well, it had to be, but I couldn't feel it...

I was hurting Paul. And I hated doing that... but a cold realization settled over me... I feared I would always be hurting Paul. And that's probably why I was always pushing him away. I was afraid of his love because I knew I would always be fucking it up.

If it wasn't Brian, something else would be loaded into my arsenal. I knew that... and as much as I wished I could change it, I couldn't see any way that I could. And I was tired of hurting Paul. He didn't deserve it. So, in a weird way that didn't make sense even in my head... I could have been trying to protect him. From me.

Paul's response?

"Yes," I snapped, "I already knew you did shit with Brian. Fuck it, John, you could throw me from the top of this hotel and I'd still love you."

But things still weren't okay

"I'll always be hurting you, Paul," I breathed, staring down at the floor.

Did he understand that? I imagined there was no way that he could... My knuckles were turning white from my intense grip on the doorknob. My stomach was doing acrobatics. I felt like being sick.

"I don't... want to hurt you... I just... know I will. You don't deserve that. I can't put you through that."

I turned the doorknob. My world was crashing down. I needed him. More than anything in the world. I needed him to be happy. And I knew I could never bring that to anyone...

Would Paul stand for that?

What...what was he trying to say?

I reached out to him, pulling him closer to me. My face found his chest, my arms his waist.

"Shut up."

We all know John wouldn't sway that easily...

My hands balled into fists as Paul wrapped his arms around me. I didn't move to return his gesture, although I wanted to.

"You deserve so much more, Paul. I can never be what you need. I just can't!" I slammed my fist into the door behind me, frustrated.

"I need you... You have no idea how much I need you."

"That's great, Paul, but do you know what I need? I need you to stop. Just... stop. I can't take it. I'm not enough for you... I can see that, why can't you? Just......"

I took a deep breath.

"Leave me alone."

My eyes closed. Those words had cut through my throat like razor blades. It hurt to have said them. But... I felt it needed to be done...

I'm not so sure Paul would react so kindly to that. Lets see.

I stiffened, the words hitting me, crushing me. I let go of him and stepped back.

"Fuck you, Lennon," I spat, anger overtaking me. "I think I can choose what is or is not enough for me." I looked away tears threating to fall.

Lets finish this off with John.

"Apparently not, if you're hell-bent on choosing me... Unlike you, I can see beyond next week, and it's obvious that I'll only... you know exactly what's going to happen, there's no way you can't! I don't want to hurt you, can't you see that? All I'll ever be able to do is hurt people and I don't want you to be one of them!"

I wanted nothing more than to wrap him up in my arms, kiss his tears away, assure him I was just... out of my mind for a moment, we could be together forever... But, I knew that wasn't true... I meant every word that I said. I didn't want to hurt Paul... and I knew that that was all I'd ever be capable of doing.

"Fuck, Paul. I love you, I hope you still see that, even though I can't-"

I stared at him for a brief moment before I sighed and walked out the door.

So Paul's heartbroken, and turns to the only person who knew about his taboo relationship with John.

I shook my head and fell back into the bed. I glanced from the ceiling to the back of Paul's head and then back to the ceiling. "Well, it's just shit either way. John's got problems, Paul." I paused and anger welled uo in my stomach and I felt mys kin heat with it. "I don't know why you let yourself get involved with him in the first place when there are plenty of other out there who would treat you..." I choked on my words and glared at the ceiling. I couldn't say what I wanted, so I tried to backtrack. "I mean...he'll realize he's been stupid and come back. It's what he always does isn't it? You'll see."

"You don't understand, George.

"No, I do. It's John. you can't help but love John, no matter how much of an idiot or a bastard he is. Who doesn't love John? And you're his best friend." The word felt a little sour in my mouth. There had been a time when I had been Paul's best friend, but a lot had changed since then. "If I'm not understanding than there's more to it, but from what you've said John's just thrown another tantrum and it'll blow over and he'll come back to you." I turned my head to Paul and looked at him seriously. "If he doesn't, all of this, us, it's all over."

Now, lets add a bit of alcohol into this...

"We can't." I moaned breathlessly, arching so my hips were pressed into his.

My body was not cooperating with my mind.
Well, at least Paul was trying to protest.

No, we can't. Paul's right. Then why is he pressing up into me like this? My body was so confused and edged Paul's legs open with my knee.

Our groins met fully as I let my weight sink halfway back down onto Paul. I was getting hard and my pants were feeling all too tight.

"I'm sorry, I know. I'll stop." I gasped. But my hips rolled again and my hand slid farther up Paul's shirt.

John knew something was going on he didn't know about. Brian and George had a secret conversation, which stopped abruptly when John walked in the room. Because John didn't want to be kept out of the dark, he decided to question George mercilessly, showing up at his flat.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes and walked into my kitchen. I needed some water my throat was totally dry, and I could barely think with John yelling at me.

Well, there really was only one thing I could tell him. The only way to be at least partially honest with John, and at the same time, hopefully keep him from blowing up.

I took a swallow of my water and then looked at John sqaurely in the face. "John, I wasn't leaving you, not the way you think at least. I just... I wanted to talk to Brian because, I'm.." I faltered again, was this really the smartest thing?

I couldn't see anyother way out, and Paul was offering no help just lying the way he was on the couch. But then, he really couldn't do anything either. Fuck.

"I like guys John. I like fucking guys, okay? You happy now?" I said.

I was so utterly grateful that at least I was saying this to the newly sexually reformed John Lennon, and not the totally straight homophobic quip he had been.

Okay, so that was a distraction, and good enough to stop the questioning. Oh wait, did I mention that Paul was right there, sitting on the couch?

I laughed out loud in surprise.

"What? You're... no.... no way! How did you figure that out? Who did you--" My eyes wandered to Paul on the couch nonchalantly. But then stayed there as my face fell.

And then it clicked.

And my world went dark.

I grabbed George's shirt collar with one hand and swung full force with the other.

Okay, so I've highlighted George, John, and Paul enough. How about some Eppy?

So here's the story. During the AHDN premiere, John was trying to feel up Brian in the theater, only to find George's hand doing the same. This resulted in a fight, George beating the shit out of John. There's more to the story, but I don't want to give it all away. Anyway, Brian decided he had to cover up John's bruises with some of Pattie's make-up, so they're both alone in the bathroom. John confessed that it was ("You're boyfriend") George who did this to him, saying that George was just probably jealous.

"And now you're ready to face the world," I pronounced, stepping back to admire my handiwork. "As good as new."

But was I ready to face the world? Was I even ready to face my own feelings? I could see myself reflected in the mirror, over his shoulder. Despite my carefully combed hair and artfully knotted tie, I felt disheveled and conspicuous. Everything laid bare in a hotel mirror. I raised my chin and stared back at myself haughtily, as if daring my reflection to say the things that John was forbearing to say. My face was still unnaturally flushed, my colour high. It showed my complete lack of self-control, that I could allow myself to get so excited--so aroused--by something as simple as this.

It had meant nothing--my encounters with John, the seduction of George, the touches in the cinema, the fight. None of it meant anything. How could it, when I couldn't even express the way that I felt? When I couldn't even bring myself to ask a simple question?

"It's my job to help you," I said simply. "You know that."

My response was so earth-shatteringly banal that I felt a fresh wave of self-loathing run through me as I heard myself saying the words. And something about that feeling catalyzed me into action. If I didn't say something, then I didn't deserve another chance.

As John turned to go, I put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

"John, tell me this. If the answer is no, I'll never ask again. I promise you that. Does George have anything to be jealous of?"

Well John?

It could have been a lifetime. It could have been a thousand eternities. It could have been two seconds... until my voice finally started working. I was just staring at him.

He was still willing to--

After everything I'd--

I was such an arsehole. There was no way around it.

"Eppy-" I tried, my hand on his arm. "I didn't fight back for you. There's not a scratch on George... because... he made me realize something. I treat you horribly. I'm so hateful and mean and I take everything for granted. I treat you like shite, Eppy... but I don't know any other way to be. I guess I'm scared of what I feel for you..."

I had to stop and catch my breath. Then I tried again.

"I want to say, 'No,' I have to say, 'No,' I need to say, 'No,' so.... no, Eppy. He doesn't have anything to be jealous of."

I knew he could see it in my face that I was lying. I knew he could. So I turned away, not wanting him to see it in my eyes. I couldn't keep leading Eppy on, I couldn't keep playing games with him. I loved Paul. Sometimes I really wondered why, but I did, and there was nothing that could change that.

I loved Brian, too, though...

The answer should have been as clear as black and white. But it was muddied by so much grey, I couldn't even see the original picture anymore...

That's a no. Well Brian, how do you take such a rejection?

For all his protestations of being a horrible person, John was taking the mature and sensible approach to this whole messy situation. He was saying what I, as the manager, should have been strong enough to say. Whatever our feelings were--and I still wasn't sure about John's, except that they led him to spontaneously grope me in crowded cinemas--acting on them was not the right thing to do. Talking about them was not the right thing to do. And continuing to hope was not the right thing to do.

And all of those were exactly what I had been doing.

It was no surprise to me that John treated me with scorn and contempt much of the time. In fact there was something comforting about it. It was exactly how I deserved to be treated. Now John, for some reason, had decided to take the high road. And I... I would follow along faithfully, as I always did.

"Thank you for making that clear," I said softly, feeling tears gathering in my eyes. "I'm sorry for embarrassing you with the question."

I looked downwards, putting my hand on a brass faucet and idly admiring its shine. Just for something to do, something to look at that wasn't John.

"You can go now," I added after a moment's silence. "The other boys will be looking for you. I'll... I'll catch you up."

As he turned to go, I added one last thing, unable to stop myself.

"If you ever need... anything... you know that you can always come to me."

He knew what I meant.

Well, that's all I'm going to show for now, but trust me, there much more :D. And if you're interested in reading more, please, go ahead and join the community! I made a timeline of events, at beatledirectory, though we are having some of the threads not showing up. If you have any problems with the threads, just send me and email and I will email you the thread. Hopefully we can get this worked out soon :D.

And, if you like what you read, go to beatleworldfans a
Post an Entry and tell us! We love reading what you have to say!. Well, we hope you enjoy :D

[This is xposted everywhere. And I mean everywhere. Sorry for the spamming]
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